how do I know if I’m gay?
by Elise Schuster, MPH - Co-Founder and Executive Director of OkaySo
Welcome! You are not alone. A lot of people have this question and it can feel hard to know the answer for sure. If you’ve been questioning your sexuality, here are some things to think about on your journey.
History: what messages about non-straight people did you grow up with or are you around in your daily life? If those messages are negative, do you think they could be having an impact on how you’re thinking about this? If so, reach out on OkaySo, we’re here.
Quiet time: sometimes we can feel overwhelmed by what we see in the world around us. Figuring out who we are requires spending some time on our own. Turning off our phones and just… being with ourselves.
Questions: sometimes it can help to ask yourself some questions and, in your quiet time alone, pay close attention to the answers. Not just in your head, but in your body. Do you feel an answer?
If I find myself imagining that I’m in a relationship, who am I in that relationship with?
If I feel attracted to someone, who am I attracted to?
If I think about being physical with someone, what kinds of people feel exciting to me?
How do I feel when I imagine going on a first date with someone who is the same gender as me? What about a different gender?
There may not be answers that appear right away, but if you keep asking the questions and paying close attention to how you feel when you’re answering them and how you feel when you’re out in the world meeting people, there’s a really good chance you’ll find your answer.
If you want to talk it through in more detail, our Identity team experts are so ready to do that with you on OkaySo.
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